International Women’s Day
Happy International Women’s Day! There are so many of these acknowledgements for so many things these days that it’s easy to just pass them by. I just realized this morning that today is a rather important one. Will women really be recognized this day in any meaningful way? Doubtful, but I could be wrong. I’ll have to read up on it, but it hasn’t come across my personal desk. I can write about it, though.
While “women’s issues” are having their moment (menopause, perimenopause, emotional labor, etc.), there has certainly been a backslide in the U.S. for women’s rights. As we speak, abortion rights have been rolled back, and it’s becoming even more difficult to vote with more stringent proof of name requirements. My heart hurts for women younger than me who are living in a world that has told them their lives and votes matter even less than they previously did. My heart hurts for us all, really.
As I’ve gotten older, and experienced my only child go off to college, I have more time to reflect. Life is certainly different now that my son is in another town. I imagined that it would be a difficult transition, and it has been, but it has been even harder than I predicted. I have hobbies and interests (always have), but I guess I didn’t fully comprehend how much of my life became child-centered and mother-centered in those years before he went off. There is an ache a lot of times for those days, but there is also the promise of figuring out, once again, what it’s like to center myself in my own life. This holding space feels both hollow and hopeful at the same time, something that’s not easy to describe in words.
I have also had more time to reflect on the role of women in society and how we are viewed – mostly as resources rather than as full human beings. From the emotional labor put into running households, raising children, furthering careers, anticipating needs - it’s monumental. The division of household duties between men and women are still nowhere equitable. I don’t just mean who is doing the laundry or cooking, but also who is keeping the calendar straight and remembering to pay the school field trip fees. Women still do most of that invisible stuff. As I move away from the intensity of that, I’m still struck by how much women do. It’s no wonder we arrive to mid-life exhausted, resentful, checked out - and just wanting freedom from the chores and expectations.
So, how do we celebrate women? No – it’s not recognizing all that they do. It’s expecting them to do less. It’s doing more. It’s acknowledging them as human beings with thoughts, feelings, and needs of their own. It’s centering them the way they have centered their children, partners, and parents. We’re nowhere near that yet. Today might be a day to highlight these things, but it needs to be every day – and until that happens, women will continue to be resources rather than humans.